terrible the fish has drowned terminal terrible the fish has drowned the diary of valerie hutchinson

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terminal (released 2006)

  1. the bully [lyrics]
    wrapped in blankets. waiting for the endless swirl. spiral downward out of control. line up for the firing squad with thousands more. out of service. time to go. don't let go. headless venting. bottled up and overexposed. antequated. it's trivial. check out for the day is old but you say more. pushed far over. test the road. you can't put both your shoes on at the same time. it's a fool who thinks karma is right by his side. when the sun explodes and it's time to wait outside don't pretend to be weary you'll be buried alive. bite the lemon peel and spit it away. spinng balls of yarn to catch the next prey. croatoan settlers lost in the frey. seedless memories start washing away.
  2. piper of rats [lyrics]
    shadows on the wall of reason staring back at me with maternal infancy. terra firma. hard to swallow. to ground eternity and molest reality. feelings complicated. from the whistle at the gate, the key is just too late. breathings acclamated. the piper of rats has come to burn your apartment down. shut your curtains. lock your doors. fearless on the stilts knocking on your window sill. alabastar. everafter. the colors drive me mad and bring back what i once had.
  3. dicembre piu difettoso [lyrics]
    succumbing to temptation seems to be my biggest weakness. mishandling situations. i can be held accountable a million times again and again. i can see you on my doorstep but you cant come in. i can feel you breathing on my neck but you can't touch me. i can hear you crying on the phone but i won't pick up. queen of imasculation; so suited that it's you. your so avid with control and you treat me with such irreverence again and again. you can't touch what you don't see.
  4. revenge of dona maria [lyrics]
    to function is almost impossible with the spinning words rattling. without a hit to calm them feelings overcome and the angel that tries to push it away gets murdered and control is once again destroyed. it seems like everyday it gets worse. so i sit and watch the rain fall and hope it goes away but 12 long hours set the circle of another day. another 10 pounds gone. convenient that it's lost. the clock goes winding down. suggested tragedy. i cut my wrists to save myself so everyday i have a personal reminder of my mistakes. wrapping hands around your throat where i used to kiss your neck. squinting to pull the image clear just distorts the picture more. you'll be there when i denounce the existance of me. driving through this ocean town only makes my heart beat harder and we can't recollect what the problem was so welcome home. sinking in the sand. break away. i know i can't be right. break away. when you have no expectations you can't be let down. peeling hearts like apples. you shouldn't be allowed to breed. words so misconstrued. some prescriptions can't be filled.
  5. diagonals of the pawn [lyrics]
    from where we were in the past in the future instead of ignoring a woman screaming for help will we jump in to hurt her? realize that when you walk past someone or park next to someone at a light, they would kill your mother before making eye contact. if you could see inside of the hearts of everyone you met could you bring yourself to fall in love? you can call someone anything you want as long as you touch them on the shoulder and smile. intelligence would be stronger if people would stop holding your hand and just let you fall on your face. with every year you add you lose some in social graces so what good is a reputation?
  6. last of the mermaids [lyrics]
    dance for me one last time; in the morning i have to go. you cant wait up all night while i watch the snow. wailing beauty lost beneath me. trails are melting. i still can't see. last i kissed you and you never know how i've missed you. feelings never show. are there things i've forgotten? did you ever really know? was i too inhibited? has the morning let me go? perfect angel miles from me. come up to my homesick city. sink with me to the bottom of the ocean and watch your problems drift away.
  7. pair of threes [lyrics]
    the lines we draw around ourselves to watch the faceless go. a heart in carbonite can't breathe or see the lucid glow. that's why we look so hard and speak the name of true love. this harmony won't last. i've given you everything.
  8. last time youll say goodbye [lyrics]
    i survived all you wanted. i provide early sunsets. until you try... until you come give away. wheels of time roll away. softened sky rolling skyline. cautioned eyes captured lost time. until you try... until you can get away. patience tried. not today. waiting for the day to come down. waiting for the night to wake up. gazing out keeps me falling back on you. say goodbye for the last time.
  9. ayane [lyrics]
    deep down i know she'll always blame me for letting you go. she concluded that i threatened your life at home. will you go home and beat your wife until she screams for her life? how can you feel never losing the person that made you cry? emily, embrace the sea and say goodbye. emily's growing disease left me to die. what if your place in death was based on the last thoughts in your life and what if your last thought was "i'm dying"?
  10. suspect fled the scene [lyrics]
    old friend, your horse is ready to ride when morning comes from this church town where damning rumors drip from holy tongues. it won't go away. fever to find the scapegoat fast and fix the blame. i know you never meant to leave the way you came. looking down from that stain glass steeple they'll never know why you had to run. ride as fast as you can; they're shooting to kill
    original lyrics and song by david bazan
  11. caught with a smoking gun [lyrics]
    leaves may fall but branches always stay intact. when routine becomes excitement you disappear. imagine a place where you can mend your broken dreams. one more day or once a week. mom i'm sorry i have gone and let you down. dad i'm sorry i have broke my bond with you. using discretion only to scratch the surface. one more day or once a week. ashes to ashes we fall down. worth living underground. i can't ignore the signs and i can't forgive this time. there go the housepets. they've run away again. can't build a fence for two. she cries in the corner. where'd my baby go? so long. adieu.

terrible the fish has drowned (released 2009)

  1. contingent upon failure [lyrics]
    i believe in anomolys. community for the empty. a roll of the dice. could be the night. could be tonight. standing in the center of downtown. she wears a frown, no evening gown. a toss of the coin. could be the night. could be tonight. wither fast hidden shadow. a life unknown drags me below. a spin of the wheel. could be the night. could be tonight.
  2. arthur digby sellers [lyrics]
    we swell and fall and drop so far. attached at the tongue of one forked cycle. the traitor looks on in disbelief. at attempts to establish rapport. unsuccessful facilitation that dominates our conversation. but it takes my time, it takes many times and in my mind, and the mind of the somber and it really makes me wonder about the rock your hiding under. if you stare at something long enough, you can make everyone around you turn their heads too to see what you're believing to trick the non-believers and create uncontrollable notions of things that don't exist. things i manifest. and i try hard to generate this forced interest and a cherishable moment. how appropriately refreshing. continuous witness to the "me too" syndrome. i've gone malevolent on insinuations. look with your hands not with your eyes. this forced interest. that solemn reach just to retrieve epiphany.
  3. root and stem [lyrics]
    only a fledgling follows it's mother. growing up feels the same. roots can wrap around and choke. smothering from where it's born. strangle out the open hole. spin around and kill them both. like an addicted father. beg for more. growing up. tortured coming, tortured going. cut the ties that bind. cut away the stem. stab until it's gone. lacerate.
  4. the unsuspecting glass man [lyrics]
    i'm not your lover. it hurts to discover you and your other naked on the floor. crawling around, around inside of you. everything we do is insignificant. lay you down in crimson and in stone. covering guilt with open sores. temptress washed up on the shore.
  5. suffering the white hand [lyrics]
    wake up the day and feel on the ground of teeth from the fire lily. this antequated quintessential; observe the mercy killing. choking the student, chewing my tongue and become the perfect killer. conviction lost so you'll read about it in the paper tomorrow. unclear solutions. unrecognized. the total meaning. lost inbetween. where is my guarantee that you'll be with me in my arms tomorrow? i'm not the bloodroot. you're not an anvil in the criminal mind. this operation drives substitution. breaking achilles heal. one day you'll learn that you can't change the things you hate the most.
  6. the plantation [lyrics]
    i can tell you're angry but thats just no excuse and that won't stop the hand that has to teach again. stop your violent eyes because no one can hear and i don't want to shout so shut your mouth dear. i didnt mean to hit you but you didn't learn before and you hurt the ones you love and the others even more. the elements can be so cruel. the embrace was delivered late. thieves will fall into the sun when you're content with nervousness. waiting for an epiphany and pushing the extra mile. hide your teeth from your smile. don't walk out that door; i won't bring you back home.
  7. the many faces of ariel [lyrics]
    enter sara stage right. tattered shirt and a black eye. threads are falling from her thighs and 2 of her strings aren't mine. in comes harry, in a hurry. the wolf dressed in man's skin. this cotillion's so romantic. throw yourself into the sea. the shadow of the burning man is screaming out in agony. stepping from the foreground lights away from arson's irony. the king's retired and left his suitor; a shark that doesn't seem to sleep. i'm a leech and a disease. we behave so lovelessly.
  8. ensemble [lyrics]
    my heart breaks out in nervous sweats. i'm coming home.
  9. the atrium [lyrics]
    tread softly my battered child. i'll be home tomorrow. keep the bedroom light on for my eyes. penciled cursive lines lead back to you.
  10. the second to last time [lyrics]
    i survived all you wanted. i provide early sunsets. until you try... until you come give away. wheels of time roll away. softened sky rolling skyline. cautioned eyes captured lost time. until you try... until you can get away. patience tried. not today. waiting for the day to come down. waiting for the night to wake up. gazing out keeps me falling back on you. say goodbye for the last time.

the diary of valerie hutchinson - a collection of acoustic and live recordings from 2000-2005 (released 2013)

  1. beware of the leopard [lyrics]
    of course we wear the branded a. we're nailed to a t. you can only persuade me to do what i already want to. so many memories of you under my sheets and i fight with a melee of represion. uncomfortable rising to the surface to despising. anxiety causes a breakthrough of impression. you can't make me compromise anymore. you can't trap and suffocate me anymore. stop guessing. stop wondering anymore. your halo will someday dissolve. i always suspected we were never exclusive and i trusted as far as you'd let me. you seperated in july and let me in you. no open legs are worth an execution. i'll miss you zion. your heart beats true. i keep playing the same movie over and over in mind; watching you gasp for breath and fall back motionless and pale while the doctor took what i had made out of you. it would have been a great day if it wasn't only 6 weeks old.
  2. the childrens crusade [lyrics]
    the internment of lovers is strong. two bodies bewildered for so long. your breathing excited all along. the steam of vibrations is gone. but i'm dreaming cos that was far away and's the last thing i remember today.
  3. caligulas senate [lyrics]
    millions will follow the orchid when the flock follows their shepard. it's not feeding your mind. once believing inside. and we know. half below. where we go. and we show. too many placate the order and fall head first in the water. it's not feeding your mind. once believing inside. naked and cold. liste noire. enfin. ca va sans dire.
  4. hide [lyrics]
    sometimes i dont know what i want. i just know i cant handle this but i cant stand that i'm not enough for you and other guys have to help fill my shoes. i wish i could be enough for you but i cant so i give up. you seem to be able to move on so fast like i never mattered at all. i tried to move past my jealous instincts but it never seemed enough. there's nothing left to do but hide.
  5. the acrobat [lyrics]
    i can't hold out so long and you don't seem to care. i drove to your dorm but your room was rented out and i know you can survive without me. it's been 3 years and i should be used to the feeling by now. circumstances change for the better in your pragmatic scheme. central arbitration. watch the sky. writing in your journal is only keeping a record of my defeats and inadequacies. when theres no difference between acting and living, a square is never round.
  6. parachute [lyrics]
    i can smell you on my bed, on my pillow in the bedroom we once shared. i turn my face to hide my head from the background and the vision of you there. what's the point of breathing if you can't enjoy what you should be living? but youre living. and you're living. i pull the covers over tight and start hiding from the feelings i once had. if i could just suffocate and be lifted to existance without pain. these cuts are from you from my hand that you forced. parachute let me go.
  7. sieves [lyrics]
    i emptied a bottle of pills down my throat. how many there were i don't know. whether i choked or swallowed is all the same. it's getting the job done by any means. i can feel my lids gaining weight and getting weak and the empty bottle beside me brings me sleep. and we scream from frustration at pictres on the wall. i'm torn. i'm ripped. i'm broke. i'm stripped. i'm bald. left with a picture of the girl of my dreams. the tenament is clean. i was digging through my books and found a card. i opened it up and read all the lies you had said. "love me forever -- you'll never leave -- you'll never be alone". you're a god damn liar i'm sure you know. if you're here to see me today, then you'd see me walking away. none of us.
  8. plastic coating [lyrics]
    i wake up and my clothes are soaked. i assumed you understood. soak up the fallen sky. to drop your tears in wine and drink you all away. chew through denial and come to terms with the self. fingers touch and complete the hand thats been apart and we turn and face that open door and fall away. when she can't hurt anymore, april falls apart. to visit my love by satellite. exist so cold and loveless and you walk away to save yourself but i still fight with this heavy conscience.
  9. luna and the silver sunset [lyrics]
    unsubstantial misinterpretation. a glimpse of infinite reflection. consequential. failed alleviation. rehearsed in the mirror of my shadow. gather up your heart and go; the sweeter fruit still has to grow. barren and empty untreaded water is no place for a fool to walk. mischief and wonder hidden in the bushes for a shattered whisper from an angel. confessions lead to misfortune and creation only leads to treason. wandering over your footsteps. serenading your fragmented figure. exhale and breathe in the silver sunset.
  10. bearded lady [lyrics]
    lyrics missing.
  11. the secret life of mark bristow [lyrics]
    the perfect life. the white picket fence kind. the upstanding type. the perfect lie. we've all got demons inside that tear out the pilgrim dressed in white. they stop us from doing whats right. we can only apologize for our meaningless sighs that lack empathy for attempted cries. the perfect life. the perfect lie. he clears his throat and smiles. he washes his hands and walks away from the only woman he ever loved besides his wife. torn from the hand of his gone father. hates to have to let his mother go. brought to life watching her die. he thinks of how he never wanted to kill her more than when he was watching her sleep. knowing all the while she had betrayed him. the meek will inherit the earth.
  12. up on trial [lyrics]
    lyrics missing.
  13. tuesday night mixers [lyrics]
    no redeeming qualities but far too overqualified. providing nothing more than the own duality of design. weight is measured by status and empty promises. reputation's riding on the edge of the rail. fall mindlessly in line. notice short comings. anticipate his selfish design. the audience twisted squeemishly in their metal seats. the volunteers fell to the floor, collapsed and then cried. he swindled everyone and fed their anticipation. said he'd send a postcard of the view of the island, the sea and beyond. i can't understand. our mission was his. i can't explain. and the secretary got off her knees when the news came on the radio and relaized what she was doing and called her husband on the phone. but did he get you going? that doesn't explain, when can i see again. it didn't mean a thing and it's not clean and things have changed that's how it goes. sometimes that's how it goes.
  14. ice sculpture [lyrics]
    you are such an angel. whisper and tell me its ok. theres a beautiful sound of silence far from the noise and rush of the city. i'll be waiting. relinquish my heart. sometimes i dont love you at all. i'm so very fragile. i'll never be your hero. i'm almost there. but i'll never make it.
  15. declaration [lyrics]
    as i look through my windshield, i beat my fists on the wheel and slam down on the pedal and drive right off the edge. i'm driven. i pray for my invention. commision. awaiting my attention. redemption. blood loss in your eyes. last night i bowled 193 but you weren't there to see me. my clothesline is not for your dirty laundry. forgiven. put the mask back on to hide the truth.
  16. monument [lyrics]
    in the mid night we look out towards the broken water and we learn through convulsion of our imperfections. sitting in the rain on this desolate beach. fingers crossed, soft eyes breathe the fog. and this simple love can be a ballad for dancing. stolen breath to touch your inner thighs. arching up and reaching towards the sky. i can melt my hands into your skin. then you look at me like some sort of martyr sent down from above to pull you from the fire. you float so softly and with that the curtains. close we never had a chance. so we sat back on my car and gazed out all the while. watching the fire engulf the city of ants. now our drives just waste the miles and never clean the stains but we try to fix the pain with a needle and some thread to form a patch which can't withstand a bending at the seam and for what? to be wishing on a star? so i found one empty page in your 2 page book and the others filled with hate that can't be understood. so here's my toast to us with shattered broken glass to 17 more years of holding me back. on the day i die i'll have just one request left for you; hold up the sea to keep you far from me.
  17. the right time for the wrong question [lyrics]
    she walks with her head so high she can't even touch the ground. her scholarship didn't provide wisdom beyond college now. her parents feel funny. they know what's best for her. she wouldnt listen now she's crying right beside them. all it takes is just one night to turn yourself into a whore. intoxicated hazings to ruin 18 years or so. her father can't help crying from the loss of his little girl. he tried so hard to warn her. now it's too late listen. one young poet walks away and another won't believe your shame. realize we fade away and embrace the dawn of a coming day. let go of the volitile and hope someone comes to your grave. if you didn't impact someones life believe me you've wasted your own. we need to break down and accept fate as it is dealt to us. we're always too busy trying to to cheat the obligatory. it's funny how we seem to feign so much sincerity and prolong with hope and love. living artificially.